Today is a very special day, Junk Food Nation – just one month ago today, I started this blog.  Now, I’m really not the anniversary-type; I always thought it was annoying when my ex-girlfriends wanted to celebrate one-month, six-month anniversaries of our first date, first kiss, first time we went to Wendy’s.  I don’t intend to do that with this blog, but this one-month mark is significant for me.  When I started, I had many people who thought this blog couldn’t be done, for many reasons:

1) Not enough junk food to be reviewed.  What I’ve found is that if you actually go out LOOKING for new junk foods to eat, you’ll find no shortage of options.  I’ve filled one month and haven’t even tapped into more meal time junk foods or fast foods.

2) Won’t be able to write every day.  I admit, I was concerned about this too – it’s really a lesson in willpower.  However, once I began and realized I wasn’t writing Victorian literature and that my voice was just going to be colloquial and messy, I relaxed.

3) Get bored about writing about junk food – Uh, no.

4) No one will care.  This one is still a work in progress, but the outpouring of support from my friends and family have kept me going, and the comments you guys leave me make feel like this isn’t all in vain 🙂 So thank you – as I continue to grow this brand, I encourage everyone to suggest ways for me to improve this site and my reviews!  Let me know on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on Facebook!

In honor of being one-month in, I’m reviewing, in super-size photo-filled fashion, a personal favorite treat of mine: OREOS!  And a new take on the traditional cookie: BERRY BURST ICE CREAM OREOS!

I got extremely excited when I saw these in the store.  Why?  Well, for anyone who read my Grabbag post a while back, one of my junk food white whales has been Strawberry Milkshake Oreos.  So when I saw these on the shelves, I almost jumped in glee – maybe this would scratch that itch.  I, for one, truly enjoy the flavors of chocolate and strawberry together – and really, who doesn’t?  People love Neopolitan Ice Cream, and chocolate-covered strawberries, so my taste profile isn’t too far off from others, I think.

I think it’s pretty clear from my reviews that when it comes to junk food, I really have two major rules:

1) Show me what I’m going to be eating, and describe it properly.  If something is four cheese, what are the four cheeses?  What does the product look like inside the package, so I know I’m not just being a pretty paint job?

2) Deliver on the promise of what you’re showing me.  If it’s jalapeno, it better be spicy.  If it’s buffalo, it better be tangy.  If something claims to be sour, my lips better pucker.

And that’s it.  Show me clearly what you’re selling, and then deliver on that.

Sidenote: Even though I know that Oreos are technically Oreo cookies, I always just assumed the package said OREOS, with an S.  Huh.  I feel like the world is a little dimmer that the S isn’t there.

Oreos apparently abandoned the side package access in favor of pull tab access from the top of the package itself.  And I guess this is a good thing – Oreos, despite being in a cookie tray, never came in a box, so once you pierced the side of the wrapper and tore it open in some effed-up manner, you could never close it back up properly.  This always left the Oreos super stale.  With pull tab access, the cookies stay fresh longer and are easier to access.  See?  This is what the space program can do for you 😉

So there’s the promise: a crunchy oreo cookie, filling that tastes like berry ice cream, that looks like this photo – light pink creme, with darker reddish-pink specks.  Essentially, just like strawberry ice cream.

By the way, and I’ve always told my eldest sister this, Oreos are the perfect party item to bring.  It doesn’t matter if its a college-style party, a wine and cheese joint, or a reception.  PEOPLE LOVE OREOS.  It reminds them of their childhood and is a great conversation starter.  I think its because they are so reliable and people don’t go out of their way to buy them (unless you’re me).  After a party filled with beer-covered snacks, or a shindig with stuffy croquettes and crudite, people like a good creme wafer cookie.  They just do.  Try it next time – I promise they’ll be a hit.  I’m having them at my wedding.

Jeez, Nabisco, alright – I’ll use the tab access.  #NabiscoIsNotToBeTrifledWith.

I love that Nabsico feels the need to include some more amazing ways to enjoy Oreos.  Oreo Milkshakes??  Um, yes please.  What a lovely idea.

More of the promise.  The way these cookies are stacked, its like a wonderful parfait of flavor.  Ice cream, Oreo, ice cream, Oreo…

HOLY MOTHER — um, ok.  two cookies is 150 calories?!  Foooo – so eating an entire row of Oreos is apparently my DAILY WORTH of calories.  I need to be eating these WHILE I’m running.  Carrying a heavy bag.  In the desert.

Ok, enough talking about the wrapper — time to dig in.  I swear: as I pulled the tab back, a lovely strawberry smell wafted up into my nose and a chorus of angels let out a harmonious chord!

So far, so good on the promise.  The cookies, perfectly lined up, all unbroken, looked fresh.  The Berry Burst Ice Cream creme inside the cookies was perfectly pink and looked scrumptious.  Yes, I said SCRUMPTIOUS.  I’m channeling my inner Paula Dean.

A closer look made my mouth water even more – Nabisco doesn’t skimp on quantity.  There was very little space in between the cookies – I like that.  No cookie trays that leave a large gap in between each treat – pack ’em in there like sardines, thanks.

There’s the cookie, with the classic, all-familiar, stamp of Oreo.  This ain’t no Hydrox.

As I closed in on a side profile of the cookie, I was impressed – the visual promise was seemingly fulfilled. The creme looked EXACTLY like the package image.  Let’s take an even CLOSER look, shall we?

Oooooh, yeah.  OOOOHHH YEAH.  (Cough, sorry, I’m having a moment over here).  The creme filling not only looked like the package promised, but looked surprisingly like actual Berry Burst Ice Cream! Glistening, perfectly colored, I was giddy to try this.

Like any experienced Oreo eater, I HAD to twist the top off to analyze the insides.  A perfect patty of pink filling, the Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreos were firing on all cylinders so far.

I tasted the creme by itself, and GOOD GAWD if it didn’t taste like strawberry ice cream!  Maybe a LITTLE sweeter, and obviously the creme wasn’t cold, but the flavor and roundness and berry tart of the creme resembled strawberry ice cream.  Phenomenal.

Finally, I plopped the cookie back on top, and bit down – amazing.  The perfect blend of a sweet strawberry creme and a slightly semi-sweet chocolate cookie.  The cookie crunched with a light airiness that filled my mouth with a pleasant cocoa “air” (if that makes any sense) that immediately mixed with the berry taste to deliver a tasty balance of flavor.

Nabisco, top marks all around.  You promised, and then delivered.  What more could I ask for?

—-

So there you go, fans.  One month in.  Again, thanks so much for your support.  It’s been great writing for you, and here’s to many more months to come.  I has some exciting things planned, so keep following along!  I’m thinking more reviews, some videos, some comparisons, some more fast foods, some out-in-the-field reporting, and of course, more junk food.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy